Common Theme

I like being busy. I like chasing opportunities and experience. I like the built-in idea that being a chef means being a lifelong student, pursuing a limitless field of knowledge and technique. I like that there are risks and that every plate represents the result of a great deal of trial and error. I like the fact that in this business there is always something to strive for. It can get frustrating sometimes, feeling like so much is going on in the world that we just can't keep up. But that's the excitement.

Michael Laiskonis, Pastry Chef

These are the words our lecturers and professors in CUCMS try to instill in each one of us medical students. I guess every other profession is much like being a student too, constantly pursuing knowledge... ... and liking it.

And to for it to be this thoughts by a chef, after someone told me medicine and cooking/baking have nothing alike! This my friend, is the answer.

I'd have to agree, by now that I like being a life-long learner, taking up new things as I progress through life (and future work!) and getting caught up with work/assignments/projects until it is overwhelming with no space to breathe (uh, is this masochism??)

I'll be taking this as my to the people who think I should stop baking! haha!

Thank you Mr. Laiskonis!

Do you know what's right??

currently listening to: Dar Williams "Mercy of the Fallen"

Dar Williams caught me off guard. Her lyrics and music are so addictive, I actually belt out the whole song without realizing other people are around, haha. ( I tend to shy away from singing in front of people, hehe)

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

One week left.

And I say that with a myriad of feelings

There have been a lot of things happening within this 2 months period:

I learn to hold back, painfully so, but definitely necessary
Helped some young ones get through, may they lead a blessed life.
Learned a few lessons, which I had been vaguely avoided
Missed; psychologically and important events,
(I'm starting to see the busy life now)
Wanting something real bad, all in due time my dear
Cant wait to go,
Where half-dreams may dream

Let me pass this exam with warna berterbangan

You can do this bebeh~

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I was called last night
Apparently, it's my turn this year;
to carry the commission
to pay to his devoirs
but I've already settled three years here.
Through the ups and downs.
Slowly building amidst the ruins
Will it be worth,
to start anew?

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I bizi, U free
U free, I on call
I free, U bizi
U bizi, I bizi

So,

bile nak free due-due??

It;s Over!!

OMG!!!


It''s over!! It's finally over!!

wuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu


Gile!!! dah habis!!!!


today, mark the final day of the Proffesional Exam. I'm free!. I'm really free!


now, I can watch the series without that certain feeling of guilt! yeay! (macam lah before this tak tgk mase exam kan? hehe)
- Husna, nak sume your latest updates (^.^)


now I can recreate and re-edit recipes from all over the net!! (heaven!!)


now I can get back to chit-chatting and making stupid jokes again!!! lalalalalalalala


Serius tension ngn exam nie. Sakit, demam, meracau sume ade. Now I can get back to do other things!! Yeay!!

-the exams have passed, now lets just pray we all pass it!!-

----------------------------------------

Rase2 macam nak pegi date, tapi ngn sape yek?? hmm...

Rahsie nieh... hahaha

----------------------------------------

let's do this:




- Kak Zie, sile ajar yek!!

Been Thinking

currently listening to : Powerless by Nelly Furtado

just what is bothering me.

I have been peculiarly moody this weekend. It was filled with supposedly joyous occasions but it's not enough to cheer me up. No one said anything yet, but I noticed it myself; I can't seem to make long eye contacts because my eyes feel tired for what seem like an eternity and my face is not putting up those smiles no more, not even the fake smiles. At least not as often as I wanted to. And that makes me look moody and at certain times--angry, even through I wasn't angry at all.And I'm very quite sure of myself, I'm not having any PMS at the moment. So just why am I feeling like this? Hope the other housemates won't notice.

Or perhaps they had but they just remain quiet about it?? owh God...

----------------------------------------------

Found an old piece of poem stuck between the Biochem SCLs while I was going through the file;


Void, cancelled, simply annulled,
endlessly aching, unconsoled.
Life without you, cause without reason,
touch without sense, time without season,
I face, life now facing a cancerous sore,
A sordid parasite eating at my core,
All that makes me while, all I could hold deep within,
Leaving me lifeless, or at least not living.


A shallow face, anguished and marred.
An empty space, sealed and scarred,
sweetly abiding abiding to a cynical charade,
secretly hiding hind a factious facade,
this fragile and yet unfeeling mass.
Still lost within this heart of glass,
Lies the remains of a love that glowed,
the gift to you I once bestowed.


But honor and pride now bereaved,
by your love for me so misconceived...


the poem is incomplete and I have no idea who wrote it either.
So, thus anyone know who wrote it? and where can I get it? seems like a good one, too bad it's not complete.

---------------------------------------------

My eyes are very drowsy. and I still can't sleep.

Maybe it's because of the exams. Who knows?

---------------------------------------------


:: we all go a little crazy sometimes::

The Day After

Was supposed to blog yesterday after the exams but procrastination got the better of me. haha

So. The exam turn out pretty much O-kayh at first. There were even one question for Disaster Medicine. And not t forget my fav question, vibrio cholera. (Best kan?) But there was this case on DIVC which I didn't read at all. I knew it was coming out but I totally forgot to read about it!! Despite some of us saying it's rare and all, the lecturers have been repeatedly warned us in the haemato block, this is the favorite question in PRO exam. (siap tulis kat white board pon!!) I knew this because when I open up the DIVC notes, terpampang "FAV PRO EXAM QUES. MUST READ!!" shitt gile lah kan... hmm..ah well, what done is done, right?

well, not so.

because that afternoon we had some chat with Prof. Zauyah. She and the other-quarantined lecturers are working hard to mark our papers (the marks were supposed to be handed in by that evening!!) She said a lot of us didn't follow the instructions properly. And by instructions, she meant on the question itself. There were so many people gave more than what the question wants (I'm one of them). For example, the question ask for two diseases, and we lot gave a range of four to ten diseases. And since this is the PROFESSIONAL exams, those didn't follow the instructions get zero marks!! for the whole question! Matilah hilang markah macam tuh ajer! Sape suruh buat lebeh2 kan? Padanlah muke sendiri... waaaaaaaa....

that being said, they have yet again got me scared shit-less. To have the marks by that evening? They are so very eager to help us with our study, with our lives. They want us to succeed and expectations in the clinical postings are high, mind you.


Don't worry, we still have 3 more days!

SILE STUDY

---------------------------------------

a review:

Big Shots. there have been praises of this series so I was expecting it to be a GREAT series. It turn out to be a major disappointment. The series, rumored to be like the desperate housewives, but from a men's point of view, have something in common with the later. The series open up with the death of someone through he didn't get to be the narrator. There were a group of friends who share their secrets and problems and some teeny- weeny gossips. Then, there were the affairs and troubled marital relationship. Owh, and the golfs are making me sick. I got sleepy halfway through the episode watching them play golf. Whenever they were going to have a talk, they'll do it at the golf club. Don't they have other places to go? What the heck is so good about golf-ing anyway that you'll play it on top of the roof of your office? There's also this multi-purpose hall at the club. they attended the party-that-killed-the-boss there, the funeral there and then they had another cocktail party there. That pretty much creeps me out. And don't get me started with the characters... but then again, it's just the first episode. So I'll watch one or two more before giving the final verdict.

~Men are the new women??

---------------------------------------

to self,

You are going to keep that promise.

No matter how tired you'll be, how insidious it is

Promises are not meant to be broken

even if the other party don't know about it.



*Plus, you'll get to try out those truffles! \(^.^)/

---------------------------------------

Enough procrastination, let's all study!

~warna berterbangan!!~

The So-Called Chaos

Anat, Physios and Pathos all scattered
D-days and blogging responsibility

Have-to's and need-to's and get-to's by three
Thirtieth hours and upset students

I want to be naked, running through the streets
I want to invite this so called chaos, that you'd think I dare not be
I want to be weightless, flying through the air
I want to drop all these limitations at the shoes upon my feet

Heartburn and headaches and soon-to-be ulcers
Compulsive yearnings non-stop to learn more

All won't be lost if I'm governed by my own innate-ness
Stop lights won't work I'll get home sound and safe regardless
Won't be mayhem if I'm ruled by my own rule-lessness
My fire won't quell and I'll be harm-free and distress-less (trust me)

Line towing, and helping, expectations up to living
Inside box obeying, inside line coloring

I want to be naked, running through the streets
I want to invite this so called chaos, that you'd think I dare not be
I want to be weightless, flying through the air
I want to drop all these limitations and return to what I was born to be